A Short Look at the Crisis and a Long Look at Christ

 It was 3 years ago today, Christmas day, when I was in a crisis.  It was the darkest, most bitter trial of my life.  I could not see life ahead of me and death seemed much preferable to life. The days and nights marched slowly by in painful agony. I only mention this experience to you now, because you may be carrying a heavy load this Christmas season.  The bright lights, joy, hum of activity, gifts of love, and family ties, only wrap your sorrow and grief more tightly around you.  In the midst of the holiday crowd, loneliness and grief are all the more penetrating.  With Job you are crying out: “Let the day parish that I was born. (Job 3:3). “Even that it would please God to destroy me, then should I yet have comfort.” (Job 6:9,10).  It was so dark for Job that though he sought to appear before God, he could not see through the depth of darkness.  “Behold, I go forward, but He is not there, and backward, but I cannot perceive him.”   No human being suffered so many brutal attacks of the devil than Job did.It was what seemed to be the darkest part of the night for me. I too was groping to get hold of the Saviour’s hand.   I had looked too long at my crisis and desperately needed the longer look at Christ.  I read the Desire of Ages account of Gethsemane that night, how He suffered under the tremendous weight of the wrath that would have fallen upon a sinful world – suffering the death that was pronounced upon the transgressors of God’s law.  As I contemplated this grand theme, a ray of light came through the darkness.  I wanted to capture this moment with God in writing.  Normally I do not write poetry without struggling through many wasted pages, yet at that hour my hand was in contact with the Saviour’s own hand as He guided my pen across the paper. What reassurance and what love lifted me that night.  The thoughts were from the one who suffered unexplainable agony so He could bring comfort to me just now!Take ControlOh dear Jesus take controlIf struggles, fears and doubts,When life’s fierce storms oppress my soul,And I am tossed about.Oh dear Jesus take control,My life is but a thread.The skies are dark and billows roll,And I am filled with dread.Oh dear Jesus take control,I see You through my tears.Your look of love!  You’re all-in-all!Oh please forgive my fears.Oh dear Jesus take control,This long night has an end.You’re always here, You’re in control,On You I will depend.Oh dear Jesus –my control,The darkness You eraseYou guide my feet toward the goalYou whisper, “By My grace.”Oh dear Jesus –my control,Through fiery trials You traceYour work for good –Your future planTo see me face to face!               Oh Lord I love You! The trials do not stop coming to me because I let God take control that night and He came to me, nor were the months ahead easy, but that experience of tenderest sympathy and love from Jesus in my darkest hour, overwhelmed me with love, melted my heart and drew my soul out to Him in such a way I will never forget.  I was gently rebuked for harboring the darkness, fears and doubts so long and thus dishonoring Him, but I felt a nearness I had never felt before.  This gave me joy and courage to face each new trial, knowing without a doubt that His faithfulness and unfailing love will catch me and lift me again and again.  Only through the bitter trials do I faintly catch the meaning of 2Cor. 6:4, 10 which says that as ministers of God we can be sorrowful, yet always rejoicing…having nothing, yet possessing all things.  Oh how wonderful are the ways of God!!  The trials are not brought on by Him of course, but the enemy’s attacks are carefully filtered through God’s hand first, and fitted to shape our character development.  So we can say with Job, “When He hath tried me I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10). This is indeed a reason for us to rejoice in our trials. - I have a long way to go to really understand trials and the glorious work God wants to perform in us through them, but one thing I do know, without finding the hand of God in trial, we can only have a superficial relationship with Jesus, we do not have enough faith, love for Jesus, strength or depth of character to stand.  When the time of trouble comes and national apostasy sweeps the land our feet will not be anchored firm enough to hold. You who are suffering in the darkness just now, let Jesus take full control.  Take a very short look at your crises and a long look at the dear Saviour –who is even now bending over you, offering stronger faith and new life and joy in Him. We go down quickly when our eyes are looking at our situation because we can see nothing good! Mrs. White says:"To every stricken one Jesus comes with the ministry of healing.  The life of bereavement, pain and suffering my be brightened by precious revealings of His presence.  God would not have us remain pressed down by dumb sorrow, with sore and breaking hearts.  He would have us look up and behold His dear face of love.  ...He longs to clasp our hands, to have us look to Him in simple faith, permitting Him to guide us. ...He will lift the soul above the daily sorrow and perplexity, into a realm of peace."  “Into the experience of all, there comes times of keen disappointment and utter discouragement, days when sorrow is the portion.  …Days when troubles harass the soul, till death seems preferable to life.  …Could we at such times discern with spiritual insight the meaning of God’s providences, we should see angels seeking to save us from ourselves.  Striving to plant our feet on a foundation more firm than the everlasting hills and new faith, new life would spring forth into being.”